I'll take a bottle of Tylenol, some NyQuil, and a Paternity Test??!?

Yes, now you can go to your local drugstore and pick up a few necessities and a take-home paternity test.. Living in this day and age more and more children are growing up without a father. Well now, with the take-home paternity test, no child shall go fatherless! You can pick up one of these convenient DNA tests for a mere $20. BUT if you read the fine print of the instructions, there is a lab processing fee for $119... BUT if there are more possibilities for a father, then the price may be more.. the results can be discovered on an anonymous and secure website or receive the results via mail. The results will take 3-5 days, and unleash outcomes that may last a lifetime! (lol)

Crank up the tunes.. no, REALLY.

So maybe I am a little behind the times of eco-friendly technology in the music industry, but others aren't. For $200 you can get yourself the Eco EMP-MX71. The MP3 player that comes standard with 2GB with an SD card slot for expansion, a 1.8 inch display, with video and music capabilities. Oh yeah, and not to mention voice recorder, an LED flashlight, a photo viewer, and a text file reader!!!
It comes complete with a hand crank that will give you 40 minutes of playback for every minute of cranking you put into it. The crank can also charge cell phones and it comes with a series of adapters. Never to fear my lazy American friends, for those of you that like to do it the "old-fashioned-way" you can always connect a usb cable and charge it as well!!